A conversation with a parent

By Kim Gwydir – Founder FastpitchOnlineShowcase.com

Recently I had a great conversation with a parent of a player entering her senior year. His daughter plays on a solid travel team and has received phone calls and emails from college coaches of schools she wants to attend.  They now want to “take the next step” and narrow down her choices and make final visits. The father had some great questions that parents, and players alike, will be interested in. Please keep in mind this player and her family have done their due diligence and have been communicating with college coaches on a regular basis and had a good skills video that they have already sent to the college coaches.


Question #1

We were hearing a lot for a certain school during the summer but have not heard anything in the last month. What does this mean? She really likes the school and it is one of her top 5 choices. What should we do?


If you have not heard from the coach in a while it may mean they have filled their need. Most coaches will tell you they have moved on but some will not.  The best thing to do,as the parent, is call the coach directly. I suggest the parent rather than the player as this is late in the recruiting process and I believe players get overwhelmed by the recruiting experience. Since this is a school she is very interested in, I think the parent makes the call and finds out if the coach is still interested. As a parent they can judge the coach’s  interest level. Just be honest with the coach and say you have not heard from them in a while and you are trying to narrow down your daughter’s choices and want to see where she stands with that coach at that school. My feeling is you do not want to wonder and should go directly to the source for closure.


Questions #2

We have 3 or 4 college coaches who have been contacting my daughter that she is interested in attending. The schools have not discussed scholarships. What is the correct best way to bring this up to the coach?


Again, I think the money issue needs to be addressed by the parent. As I always say, “your daughter is going to school but your money is too”! As a college coach, I felt it was important to have the money conversation with the parent. Kids do not understand long term debt and loans yet. They are caught up in the recruiting experience. I think the parent puts in a call to the coach and asks in a polite and unassuming way about the financial plan the coach has for their daughter.  Try to sound like you are not demanding a scholarship but rather trying to plan financially for the family. Often times the coach will ask if financial aid will be an option for the family. Be honest with the coach if you think you will qualify but if a coach is talking financial aid only then in a way he/she is giving you a clue to their interest level. As a recruit, if the coach is offering a scholarship of any kind then you are higher on their list of recruits than someone they are just talking to about financial aid.

I believe, it is important for the player to continually work the recruiting process and talk to coaches but I also believe parents have to take a role. When it comes to money parents should be involved. The later it is in the recruiting process the more it is “Ok” if a parent has a question to call the coach. Coaches understand that this is a family decision and parents will be involved. Rule of thumb, as a parent if you have a question – ask it. Phrase it in a polite way but don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and call the coach. You are trusting your daughter to this person for 4 years so you should be able to call them.

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